That can expect the mother of a small child — the book of Helen Bessudo and Tatiana Pospelova, "Mother dear! 9 myths about motherhood"
"On any baby forum will always be a proud specimen under the name mamulya-krasotulya, which declares that it is her child diligently ate and slept up to six months, and she spent her days lying on the couch with a book and ate the fruit. But I assure you, the lucky lady will be only one among the Legion less fortunate colleagues whose children first months of life functioned in two modes: eating and yelling.
My son slept only at night (and it was already a great success), in the afternoon it was not possible to calm down even in shaky on the cobblestones of the stroller (it is believed that children are wonderfully resting in the air, especially when you roll them on the red square). In those rare moments, when Herman was in the "child of advertising", that is, folded bow lips and groaned, I frantically grabbed the phone and post the photo on all available resources. The rest of the time my husband and I took turns wearing the baby on his hands, performed the entire known us musical repertoire — from sweet to Osborne, swung from the Internet trills of birds, included a Hairdryer and a vacuum cleaner (on the forums claimed that there are individuals who sleep well under the noise). From time to time I, hall - mywa hands, I removed myself to the kitchen — cry.
By trial (and let's put him in the washing machine) and error (uh, and "Green Day" is something never went) it was discovered that the child fell asleep if we bring it to the tap with flowing water. Since then, Herman was put on the side only in the bathroom. However, at the end of the month I received a bill for water at 20 thousand rubles, and had to record the sound of the water on the recorder. To co - pity, the Studio version of home falls toddler is not impressed. Not only that, he cried a lot day, 6-7 hours of the evening the poor fellow was overcome colic, and from 9 to 10 p.m. daily it was "a hour ora". By thus day program, Verushka went into the arms of Morpheus, and I with a full sense of what had just unloaded the car with concrete piles, Brela soak in the shower. Now all of this seems sheer nonsense, and comforting on the phone just gave birth to their girlfriends, I will tell you how we were first visited by a wonderful pediatrician Marina Evgrafovna from the hospital Semashko.
– Oh, I see here an enema is needed primarily mom — off threshold prescribed treatment Marina Evgrafovna, barely glancing at my upturned face. — What are the symptoms? — still she asked, wiping her hands with a towel prepared.
Claims to the baby was much.
– Doctor, he spent his days crying, sleeping for 15 minutes, spits up, puffing loudly when he eats, moans and flinches in her sleep, draws in legs, pooping ten times a day, hiccups... he has a strange color chair with white lumps, and sometimes shaking chin. He comes off the breast while eating, bends and screams. Perhaps we should ask the neurologist? I think that the baby torticollis — he cooks the head in one direction only...
– It is clear. A normal, healthy child, — concluded the Evgrafovna. But still toured Hermann, advised to hand over analyses on a dysbacteriosis, have written all sorts of plan texts and espumizan from colic and putting on his coat, predicted: "I Assure you, dear, in a couple of months you will remember this time with laughter."
Of course, the way it happened. Very soon, bumping in the notebook of observations of the child in the disturbing "threw up a fountain may be intracranial pressure?" and heartbreaking, "Can I Valerian?", I'm having fun. But when you're inside the process — not joking. And one thing — do not sleep all night singing karaoke in different nice places, and quite another chronically sleep-deprived weeks when the baby is still screaming.
"Why, why I just got a wild child?" — I asked my tired reflection in the mirror before you take in the nightly bath. No, of course not me alone. Just three months (Yes, to be honest, three) children cry a lot. All. You can every day to call the ambulance, the hordes of pediatricians, neurologists, crazy consultants on breast skarm - 'my favorite hotels'; the night, instead of sleep, study the forums, where having read all the terrible, but the good of it will not. Better make yourself a manicure, really. Or go with my husband to the restaurant. For colic how to play, call assistants. The first three months, simply to survive".