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How to be a friend to your child

The problem of misunderstanding between the generations often prevents parents and children to connect. Clinical psychologist Marianne Abravitova shares the secrets of good relationships in the family

2-4 years: do not disturb the baby to play

At the age of 2-4 years children have secrets of a subjective nature. Most often it is manifested at the time of the game. The game is a field in which occurs their own world. So the child doesn't want to penetrate someone else, even his parents. If, at the time of the game you will come to the child from the adult's position and ask: "what are you doing?" the child then closes on you. The more you defiantly into his world with their questions, the quieter he will become, and the more he will have "secrets". So the best thing is to exercise tact and just watch the child from afar.

4-6 years: more tact — less anxiety

At this age the child understands that there are some things that will not be approved by the parents. Did not hear from him, dismiss or scold. In the end, the child creates a psychological niche, in which he begins to exist, not devoting parents in their business. The more negative the feedback, the more likely to occur nedogovarivanie and the silencing of any of these things. Eventually the child becomes accustomed to hide something, and it appears own life. What to do? Accept what the child says to you, that's right: listen to him carefully, give him time and show more tact and less anxiety.

Как стать другом своему ребенку

Marianne, Abravitova: materials of press-services

7-14 years: don't be afraid to consult a specialist

At this age there is a gradual removal from the parents, so the number of mysteries is growing steadily. Most often they relate to interpersonal relationships and first love. This age, according to statistics, is the most difficult in the psychological plan: the child who has no trust relationship with their parents can hide the serious stuff, starting with problems in relations with peers, ending the participation of communities in social networks, which, as we know, subjected the lives of children in danger. So if a child is behaving suspiciously, you need with tact, and sometimes detective skills to get to the truth. Don't be afraid to involve child psychologists.

14-18 years old: podrostkovogo to be on the same wavelength

The child already feels like an adult. Only seeing it on a par with you, you'll have to make contact with him. With a teenager you need to be on the same wavelength, because during adolescence the amount of secrets reaches its maximum level. Hides everything: thoughts, emotions, experiences. The child's goal is to close the mask and with nothing to show. To know at least part of this mystery of life, parents need to understand that baby up and you can negotiate with him. The child at this age should be given the opportunity to be responsible for something, i.e. to trust him in some area of life, for example, the learning process, part time, business. So it will start to grow confidence in their abilities, and it will not only feel like a big man, but also understand that he is perceived by the people around.

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