Sometimes children have a hard time due to difficult relationships with loved ones. WomanHit.ru tell me why you find it difficult to live in one apartment and how to fight it
Parents always want the best for their children, but in some cases, against the heirs can hardly be called healthy. We are not talking about physical violence, less visible but far more destructive effect of mental abuse, after which child it is difficult to form as personality. Typically, these parents give the child tasks that require mutually exclusive decisions.
We offer you to familiarize yourself with the basic signs of a toxic parent.
1. Rigor — our all
Parents often believe that only with strict observance in the home to educate a person that meets all the requirements of companies. Children in a family "living" in between mood swings parents: today and tomorrow begins the criticism and accusations, in the case of a response to the negativity from the parent: "Look what a good boy at aunt Luda, not what you are."
It is important to make friends, but to comply with distanciate: pixabay.com/ru
2. Adults know better, but still blame you
In such cases, the child rolled over responsibility for the wrong decisions of adults. The child begins to believe that his father rarely home because he is a child, not conformed entrusted to him expectations.
Moreover, the opinion of the child is not taken into account never: "What can he mean?" — I think parents, while nothing prevents them to draw him into a conflict between adults.
3. You're the best, but still — no one
Parent-Narcisse — a big problem. He is waiting for the child's good results always, and when the child achieves what is demanded of him, simply said: "Well, good for you." Any success is taken for granted, once praise will only hurt, I think mom and dad are fixated on the constant achievement of high results. If the child is unable to overcome the height, which he asked toxic parents, he just say: "what did you expect? You're the same as everyone, if not worse," even if the child was a straight-a student and proud of you.
Delimit personal postranstvovat: pixabay.com/ru
4. Are you so full of flaws, but don't even think to correct them
On this basis it is easy to calculate an insecure parent who takes it out on you own, increasing their own importance in their eyes. Most often the child is criticized for her appearance, because it is the easiest. And it does not matter, have child defects or not — they can invent.
This parent is desperate to resist the child's attempts to change something in yourself, because then the parent will lose such a precious control.
5. Be successful, but not to the detriment of my control
Encourage the child to achieve goals by any means, but he must remain in sight of the mother or father in order to put pressure on him. In such families, one can hear: "Why aren't you making new friends? You need a connection. But not today, because I need you to help with so-and-so." The child's wishes if they do not coincide with the parent, is always ignored.
6. Do what you say, but in the case of failures to blame but yourself
In such families the child's life planned out from childhood, leading up to the wedding. The parent assumes the role of master of the destiny of a child, only he knows how his daughter or son to live a life. In the event of a failure of a parent exposes the child to blame, saying: "I told you so!"
Despite all the successes, some parents still underestimate their detailfoto: pixabay.com/ru
7. When you move out! Where are you going?
A child's desire to secede is always fine, but not for toxic parent who "not for this" to bear and raise a child. In their understanding, the separation of parents from children it happens, but somewhere else, not here. All this does not prevent from time to time to reproach the child in square meters.
What to do and how to behave if you are "caught" their parents in toxicity?
Not always moving to another apartment can solve the problem: nothing prevents parents to affect you, being in the far distance. It is therefore important to develop a strategy of behavior:
Live by his own rules.
Do not allow to restore order on its territory.
Do as they sees fit.
Respect your own interests.
All this is not to say that parents need to move away, just set boundaries that cannot be broken neither you nor your parents.Follow us on Yandex.The news