The three main mistakes that we make when communicating with their children - Psychology - WomanHit.ru
Psychologist Olga Kraynova talks about the right approach when raising a childOlga Крайнова13 March 2019 17:09147740
What mistakes we make when communicating with their children?
Studies in recent decades show that the child has enormous potential that should be developed. Moreover, some research suggests that some higher mental functions and abilities a child must develop in a certain period of time when the substrate (actually, the Central nervous system) are most susceptible. For each ability, this period.
More and more parents approach the education of the child, its development and maturation consciously, and it can not but rejoice. But, as often happens, even here has its extremes, which it is better not to go, and common mistakes that are better not to do:
1. It must be remembered that, along with the opportunities the child has, and limitations. And these limitations are related to the immaturity of his psyche and also some parts of the brain responsible for different functions. And loading it excessively, exposing the child to additional stress, not corresponding to its development, can cause more harm than good. Why? To cite an obvious example. From the outside world into the human brain receives many signals from all of our sensory systems. We see something interesting, we hear noises, we feel the tingling of your finger. But we are now, for example, at work, and an adult can by an effort of will to force yourself to focus on what is important for him at the moment. For example, for reading emails and processing information contained in them. Is responsible for this area of the brain — the thalamus, which in an adult is Mature. The child's this area, like many organs, is found only in the ripening process is still immature, imperfect, so, in particular, it cannot effectively separate the flow of information to those who want to skip (flies are flying around the tutorial), from those which need to focus and keep my attention for a long time.
Elevated brain exercise can cause Neurosoft: Pixabay.com/ru
In other words, the adult could ask the child any of the skills of self-discipline, the obedience, self-control, performing accurate mathematical calculations, but the child just no more tools that would allow him to do it. They are just not ripe. In addition, the increased brain load can be excessive precisely because of the immaturity of tools and huge cognitive cost. It is no secret that in the process of mental activity, energy is consumed far more than the physical. Therefore, requiring the child successful perform complex tasks, laying on him the high loads, which realistically he can't do it, we can shape a child's high anxiety and the occurrence of neuroses. In the end, and the genius won't grow, and neuroses will bestow upon him for life.
2. The second great error is the discontinuity of loads. Often, when a parent, having read articles about child development, closing the "Windows of opportunity", begins urgently to catch up and implements a child's life increased load suddenly and sharply. Not just to do further maths, and definitely 100 exercises for one approach. Such actions can completely kill in the child desire to develop, learn and, again, in addition to fatigue and mutual frustration, it will do nothing. Often a parent, "giving heat" baby in a week or two lets it go, and everything returns to the starting point. It must be remembered that the load needs to be thought out in advance, planned and still enjoyable for the child. That is, the learning process should, first, do not Deplete a child, and secondly, to be fascinating. Because it is through the involvement of the child it is hoped that it will grow into a personality that is prone to constant development and perceive the learning process interesting and natural.
Classes should be interesting, rebenito: Pixabay.com/ru
3. The most common mistake is when parents try to implement on the children of their failed dreams. As already described above, is forcibly imposing their expectations will not contribute to any healthy mental development of the child, improving the child-parent relationship. Not to mention the ethical side of the issue when the child gets older and understands that the authority and demands of parents drove their own desires, or worse, the desires of those he does not. Here, the strongest can develop depression, due to the fact that the person finally realizes that his entire adult life doing not what he wanted, and lived his life, and was a "puppet" in the hands of others. Find your way and understand what he wants, is for him quite problematic, and all this can lead to the formation of the strongest negative consequences for his mental health. Therefore, it is important for parents their unrealized dreams or to sell yourself, or, if this is not possible, to sublimate them in some other way, but not to use the life of a small and defenseless child.