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The eternal child: don't make children infantile - Psychology -

Any parent trying to give your child only the best, but sometimes over the top. tell me how to not be perfect, but a good mom

Maria Блавацкая14 Mar 2019 18:3132420

Вечный ребенок: не делайте из детей инфантилов - Психология -

stop work hyperopia!Photo:

Psychologists are often faced with the complaints of parents about the fact that their overgrown son or daughter still can't take responsibility: continue to live with their parents, although it is time to create a family, interested in nothing. Why is this happening, and who is to blame? Try to understand.

Let's remember how it was before (useful if you over the age of 40): the parents went to work, children most of the time conducted themselves in the courts or in the city. In General, the parents of one life, the children another. In the Soviet time, the priority was survival, an effort to which the average working person spends all their time making money and finding solutions to further the education of children. As you know, the adults had no time to pay attention to mental state and psychological problems of children. It is not surprising that those children, now very successful adults regularly visit a psychologist, struggling with fear of loneliness and misunderstanding, which put them in the childhood.

Вечный ребенок: не делайте из детей инфантилов - Психология -

let the child choose the activity, douchette:

Many still can't forgive parents who, in the opinion of the children weren't paying as much attention as they would like. So they bring up their children under the slogan "their childhood will be different". There is a certain danger, because, striving to give their children what they themselves were deprived of, we can easily "go too far" — and here the child grows already not happy, and spoiled with attention.

No one says you have to keep the child in severity, but solublility child is dangerous, primarily, for himself, because immature person will have many difficulties in connection with his perfect rendition of the world.

According to some psychologists, it is important to be the perfect mother, and a good. What does it mean? Explain.

Вечный ребенок: не делайте из детей инфантилов - Психология -

the teenager will be waiting for your pomeshivat:

When a person reaches the age of puberty, nature provided its separation from parents, the beginning of adult life, however, modern parents create such "hothouse" conditions that teenager just sees no point to disperse. Why? Mom always cooked, washed, Pat, throw money. If he goes outside the house, there will be terrible, unknown life, where he will be completely alone.

The only correct decision in this situation is to create conditions under which your adult child wants to move out himself. And we are not talking about violent methods, just allow yourself to be imperfect parent: sometimes not to cook, ask for it to make your child, do not give money if he is able to earn. Slowly it will move from a dead point, and he will want to separate from you.

Another problem becomes excessive stimulation, which starts from childhood: in pursuit of good grades and success in different activities parents do not skimp on generous incentives of their own children. In the end the child is already in primary school knows that a parent (and in the future husband) will always provide, and therefore lost all desire for anything to strive for. That is, trying to coerce the child's attention, parents do worse.

Вечный ребенок: не делайте из детей инфантилов - Психология -

the child must learn to take responsibility, for example, to find a job, samostoyatelnoe:

What should I do? First of all, do not rush to conquer the top. Give the child time to decide what he is interested in and what he wanted to do. Natural interest will yield a lot more results, as the child will take the initiative. In the future he will have no incentive to wait for the parents, for example, just settle for the option of work because habit to learn is developed from childhood.

More trust your children, support their initiatives and not impose their own unfulfilled desires. Only in this case the child will develop a sense of responsibility for their own lives.


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