What surprises can hold us to our children?
«Mama, I'm in the store don't need anything»
This is the word which ushered serious progress in my relationship with her daughter. But I did not believe that the day, when my child voluntarily refuses to buy another tutu colorings and books ever come:) But it will come. And these days - when my child make their conscious choice - becomes more and more.
Why? Because when you really open your child your heart, acting in its interests, call to his mind and so, the child there is no desire to manipulate you. The child begins to cooperate. Yes, this happens not at once, but is mandatory. Because no child is born on this planet with the natural desire to wrap my mother nerves at fist. And if he does this, there is a serious reason to think why and what goes wrong in your relationship.
«Mom, buy a cat. I want more responsibility»
"You want responsibility? We instantly organize.
And we bought her a kitten.
As he pet shop already dark September in the evening, my child will never and nowhere for her 9 years and fled. The word of honor. And then I once again realized: when a person something truly wants, he is ready for this run полуодетым, unbrushed, in the late evening or early in the morning - all this is unimportant. The main goal. Here it is - the work of the deep motivation in action:)
But how else would so arrange everything to with no less zeal child wanted to brush your teeth in the morning (without warning)do it yourself lessons, perform the mother's and father's request and etc? It is very difficult to do and at the same time very easily. We urgently need to get your Bank to another account. This time... emotional. And make deposits there several times a day. As soon as your emotional account of the trust will be filled, you will see what happens in your relations with the child.
«Mom, just don't call until the Pope. He come now with work, and we all go together in a pizzeria. I invite you for dinner»
That day I have literally opened his mouth in amazement and pride... for their child. And a little for myself:) I have to Admit that day was extremely tired and thought that dinner is not ready, and the hour is already late, I became very sad. And here is my child took out from his hiding place last couple of dozen donated her once dollars and took us with the Pope in our favorite pizza place near the house.
Such a proud I haven't seen her for ever. True. And as the light shone eyes of my daughter when my dad and I thanked her for the wonderful evening and firmly kissed on both cheeks! It seemed to me that at that moment the eyes of our father also showed from unclear where навернувшихся tears.
Why doesn't she bought something, and spent their last savings on our dinner together? Because she began to understand how much we do for her every day, and she really wanted to make a return gesture. She started feeling manifested towards her unconditional love and she's deep in my soul wanted to show his love too. Not in word but in deed. And what love is at the level of actions and action is primarily a concern.
Such situations I can give the example of a great variety. But it was not always so. Had and now have to do extensive work on herself with her and our relationship. But it is definitely worth it. Yes, periodically my daughter, like all the other 9-year-old children, eject caper. But that all these unpleasant surprises compared to how much joy and happiness it brings to our lives?
And how are things with surprises are in your family? Children will give you bored?:) Looking forward to your answers in the comments.
Ekaterina Alekseeva, instructor of harmonization of relations with children