Are the "pitfalls" of disputes, which need to know and use in these situations, the correct behavior. Conflict is easy to destroy even the strongest Union, but it is possible to wrap and to their advantage
Why the man that used you couldn't even breathe, began to allow myself to speak in a raised voice? This may be several reasons.
5 reasons why a man raises his voice:
1 reason — cooling
Your partner that burned strong feelings, began to feel that they leave. He does not love you as before. You are not so valuable to him, so you can risk everything going down.
2 reason — stability
Phase ends the honeymoon period starts and stability relations, solid phase when relationships go to a new level. You have already conquered, replied your man back, and he relaxed.
3 reason — a provocation
He can act deliberately, to see how you react to a stressful situation. To make a decision on marriage, a man should have to feel that you have proven in different types of events.
4 the cause — repulsion
Quarrels can occur on slippery ground relationships that are in different periods of rapprochement with the man. These places need to know to pass them in phase repulsion with dignity, avoiding errors. I further explain the details.
5 the reason — habit
Before you did not know and was afraid the word is not so to speak, to see not with the eyes, showed themselves from the best side. Now you already "own" you so accustomed to, that is absolutely not shy to hide his bad mood.
Conflict is easy to destroy even the strongest Union, but it is possible to wrap and to itself, polizotto: Pixabay.com/ru
10 rules out of the quarrels and disputes
1 rule: watch
Look at the man and analyze his condition. If he has a bad mood, you need to understand what it is more. He wants to go into my cave and think? Or he is willing to talk with you and share a problem? Do not insist on talking, if he doesn't want that.
2 rule: don't be a hypochondriac
Don't take his bad mood out on your personal account. Reasons why a man can be upset a lot. If he goes to work in a good mood and came black clouds, most likely, it's some business problems or fatigue. It can upset colleagues, acquaintances, break machine, headache.
3 rule: do not zerkala
Some women immediately begin to behave as behaving their man. They put on his mask and answer the same way, instead of being the warm sun and to warm your favorite. He's Moody — they're Moody. He tensely silent — they do the same. This only leads to one thing: growing snowball of negativity.
Rule 4: do not argue
To convey an opinion without a public confrontation. First, agree with the man, and then complete the phrase in its opinion. "Yeah, you're right, but still..." — and then can give him my arguments. After your approval it will take your words quietly, and the resistance will generate resistance.
Not zerkala bad mood, partnerbot: Pixabay.com/ru
Rule 5: be careful
Often people bring their negativity from outside, unfairly giving it to your loved ones. Men bad mood, it's hard to control myself, he's stranded, stressed, cannot relax. He can drain all of this on you, but you have to understand that in fact are not desired by the recipient.
6 the rule does not prove
If you have a middle of an argument, it is not necessary to prove his innocence. This is a completely pointless exercise that will only lead to a larger conflict. You will not hear, not approve your point of view. Do not think that if you will to convey their views more persistent, he will suddenly agree and will accept it.
Rule 7: understand
If you want to be heard — hear his interlocutor themselves. Try to understand what you said your man, why dispute it on the other side of the barricades. Tell him that you understand his motives, considered his point of view and imagine his motives. That you will show your respect for his thoughts.
Rule 8: change
All the negative messages that may arise in a dispute, try to translate in a different direction and change their pole, translating into a positive. You can amplify the conflict, developing it, adding fuel to the fire. But can and simmer, soothing, reducing the degree of intensity of your communication.
Rule 9: do not be offended
Do not be offended if the man you think doesn't hear you or just be silent. First, if you argue and do not accept his point of view, it you don't hear it as much. But if he stopped — or "gone to the cave", or decided that further discussion is not helpful and we need to pause.
10 rule: do not blackmail
There's nothing worse than manipulation during the conflict. Don't threaten that if you do not agree you will impose certain sanctions. The pressure itself is low and leads to a complete collapse of any relationship. This is a real blackmail, and no self-respecting man would not tolerate such.
But the storm subsided, you've stopped the conflict. Perhaps simply exhausted, decided to stop due to the fact that I didn't come to a consensus and make a pause. What's next?
Out of the quarrel, in a harmonious balance, go back to relaxed parsing situacijama: Pixabay.com/ru
3 tips on how to behave after a fight
No. 1. Patience
No need to try again to continue the conversation, to speak with man, to bring him to a new conversation. Please be patient. You need to give him time to think, cool down, and when he's ready to continue talking, he'll start it himself. And perhaps on more favorable terms. And while he's not ready to touch his senseless.
No. 2. Border
But here you have peace, passion, calm, decision and exit from a conflict situation found. Analyze how is your fight, and if the man was invading your territory, grossly violated your boundaries, it is necessary to discuss with him, gently to indicate that you do not like and where he behaved is unacceptable.
No. 3. Reaction
Out of the quarrel, in a harmonious balance, return to a calm analysis of the situation. Talk about this with her man at an opportune moment when he is nice to you. Ask him what the response from you he was expecting to see? As if he had seen a great showdown, the passage of conflict?
As you can see, you can swear and ruin their relationship, parting, and you can act on the basic rules of conflict and come out of it with dignity, and even the winner.
Quarrels, conflicts and disputes — a science! And the ability to adequately get out of them — a vital examination You perfectly!
I Lanske Julius, expert for the selection of the perfect couple for marriage, I sincerely wish you to have in your life as much as possible unpleasant situations, may it be filled with peace, harmony and love!