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Married life: expectation and reality

Why relationship problems occur after marriage, and can they be avoided? trying to deal with the psychologist Inna Kiryushkina

Divide the money

It begins with a struggle for "power". More precisely, for the money. What to spend the savings — on earrings for her or a console for him? To go to Paris or to save for a mortgage? This is a question about who in the family home. Often such conflicts lead to separation. To the just the beginning of family life are not destroyed, need to grow up — to realize that now you have to consider not only their own interests but also the interests of your pair. Sometimes you have to give up some immediate benefits for the sake of a happy shared future. This is not so important, who exactly is the "breadwinner". If a woman earns more, it's not always a problem. If both realize that they are a team, and the husband is willing to support his wife in dealing with domestic issues. The benefit of "gadgets" now abound that even the most inept man could do Laundry, and cook a delicious dinner. Moreover, today the husband if necessary, may take leave to care for a child, and my mother to go to work and deal with making money, if she's better at it. Importantly, this decision was accepted by both and brought harmony in the family!

The birth of an heir

The biggest challenge for the young is the appearance of the child. Especially if there is no experience with kids. It turns out that the child is and sleepless nights and puffy waist, and chest saggy. And the woman begins to take revenge for all of it primarily your child. Revenge for his dislike, irritation. To prevent such a situation arose, it is very important that the child was indeed a welcome and both parents soberly assess their strength, preparing for the baby's arrival. The primary responsibility in this matter, of course, lies with the woman. She needs to understand what will follow her decision to give birth. Ready her man to sleepless nights and the responsibility for a new life. There are couples who before having a child, give birth to some animal. It is also a good option to check the readiness of partners to responsibility. Grooming and taking care of your pet, you watch each other, find compromises. Often young couples, even the kitten becomes an insurmountable obstacle and an excuse to go.

The life of the Network

Now gaining momentum so-called virtual marriages in which people communicate every day in the virtual world. They discuss the management, purchase, coordinate, who, where and with whom to spend leisure time. Swear. Tolerated. Even engaged in virtual sex. For some, it is a very useful experience in building relationships, the main thing — to be able to "jump" and return to the real world!

Time for a change

Within the marital relationship need to remember that times of disappointment can be in 10-20-30 and even after 50 years of marriage. Why? Largely because people change over the years, changing in character, attitude to life, to the life. What fascinated at age 20, may not be able to touch 40! But if both spouses care about each other, understand and accept the changes that happen to them, the years only make their marriage stronger, and the relationship is happy.


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