Psychologist Yaroslav Samoilov has revealed to the readers WomanHit.ru the secret of how to drag his beloved to the Registrar
Women create a pragmatic. Even when meeting with a man they are able for five minutes to introduce him to her husband and father of the children mentally to go on holiday with him and meet my parents. For men everything is easier. They estimate the girl for a short period: her femininity, appearance, smile. "Came, saw and married" — rarely happens. Like it or not, must undergo a certain period of time, he decided: "I Want she was my wife!"
Relations between partners are different. For some women, this is a meeting for sex three times a week. Or winks in the office copier. Someone is waiting for the transition to a new level because "it is time, we have been Dating for 2 months." Sometimes relationship support on the Internet through the city and even the country. But a harmonious relationship is a full order on emotional and physical levels. Lacking only the cherished ring in a little box.
When it comes to prewedding agitation to put pressure on the man is impossible. But often the girl has seemed to triggered an internal alarm: "it's Time! Because I'm 20. Or 30". She hints. Hints are moving in daily conversations and even whining about the wedding until the man begins to boil the brain.
It is a mistake to think that he just forgot or didn't realize. Most likely a man stops from a proposal of marriage is a logical thing — confidence that he's not ready. Sorry, it's just an excuse. The man comfortable to be with a girl as a mistress, he doesn't need more. Most likely such a relationship will only lead to loss of time. If the man next to the woman, he wants to keep it that way. It happens that he escapes financial responsibility. Remember how in the tale of Thumbelina, when mole was calculated: "She eats half a grain a day. Get married!". "And in the year... No, not getting married!" Man knows that to keep a wife is not the same thing in restaurants to drive and to give gifts. Additionally, even large spending on children. And he wanted to update the brand of car, to live for yourself...
Don't push on favorite mujcinovic: Pixabay.com/ru
There are girls who have like written on my forehead: "Hey, somebody get me married!" Good men read this and quickly catapulters from relations in the initial stages. And girls are attracted to girlie men, Mama's boy or a charge. Those who are not initially afraid of her desire to quickly marry. Because he knows this will never happen!
But what stops normal men? Men too are afraid. However, in contrast to women, their fears — most driving force. These are the most common prerequisites for the male fears:
- Select. Fateful decision a man more difficult to accept than the woman. After all, he, because of testosterone, more developed left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for logic. The man thinks strategically, analyzes. Women are more emotional, so impulsive, they are often "popping in marriage."
- The loss of independence. Even if the couple lives together, the illusion of freedom from the man remains. Its frightening the thought that 'this is forever'. Women's wisdom is to leave the feeling of freedom after marriage. Otherwise the man will think him not wearing the ring, and chains.
- The fear of responsibilitywhen he realizes that after the wedding, have become not only a husband but a father. The world will turn on its head, the level of obligation will increase as soon as he crossed the threshold of the Registrar. But the responsibility is not issued with a marriage certificate. It's either inherent in the man or not.
- Bad examples of acquaintances, friends and especially parents. He knows firsthand how divorce, drama, property division, alimony. This fear will be removed only very considerate and gentle woman, which will prove that with us this will not happen!
- The fear of aging. He still feels a slight breeze of bachelorhood. Even if you live together. He likes the chance to rock the party and drove off in the night on a bike. He will not use them. But it can! The stamp in the passport is a part of growing up. And to grow up not all men are ready, and not necessary for this to be childish.
- Fear of failure, because a man does not want to be disappointed in the selection. He needs to make sure 200% that this is the only woman and the perfect mother for his children. And she chose him not because of money, connections, or Metropolitan residence.
The reverse reaction
A ring and a stamp in the passport are not always the key to harmonious, otnoshenie: Pixabay.com/ru
"And when you get married?" — a favorite issue of relatives and friends. He didn't sound except that from the radio in his car. Pressure from outside causes men rejection, the opposite reaction: "Why should I do, how do I impose some kind of aunt Clara?" In this case, it is necessary to create such conditions that the man did not press. Your mother asks about it too often? Yes, she's worried. But explain to her tactfully that marriage is better than late, but consciously.
In General, we now turn to concrete action to stamp finally appeared in your passport.
1. Talk quietly. Find out what it does not like in you as a woman. Or Vice versa — you demand more than he is willing to give. If a man is closed, he hides the real reason. Are willing to tolerate uncertainty and to adapt? Go ahead and manipulate to get what you want? It's hardly a healthy and harmonious relationship. Male needs to want the wedding. Only in this case the marriage will be happy.
2. Dig in a little deeper. What do you feel? Sometimes the problem is low self-esteem. The woman thinks that her no one will love to meet and take this man. This is from insecurity, fear of loneliness. Believe me, in the world there are many men with whom you can be happy!
3. Take care of yourself. Become the woman you want to marry. Work with self-esteem, strengthen your feminine quality. Because a stamp in the passport is not a destination. This is only an intermediate point on the map the big trip called Happy Relationship. The coordinates you have — it's time to hit the road!