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How to fight right

Conflicts occur even in the most amicable families. Psychologist Anna Yotko told what to do when everything is infuriating and annoying, but need to maintain the relationship

You can often hear: quarrel in a vacuum. But a quarrel without a reason does not happen, just sometimes the reason is not obvious. Then it indicates problems in the relationship. For example, the husband returned later, but did not want to explain where I was. His wife said nothing, but harbored resentment, which sooner or later will break in a fight. The cause of the quarrel may be our desire to remake partner, and in fact — to make it more convenient for you. Or a desire to hurt the partner, to show his superiority, even in small things, etc.

How to stop fighting in marriage? For this you need to understand two things. First, marriage is your joint venture. Second, between truth and happiness is better to choose happiness.

Marriage — a matter of both partners. Can't be a happy marriage, if one tries, and the second relates to this for granted or do not care about the partner. To the marriage was a happy one, both partners need to "invest". It's wrong to think: I have a unhappy marriage, I'm not going to work on it. It is therefore unfortunate that no one above him is not working. But if you at the same time, if you know that, together, make common cause, and resolve any conflicts you will be. To be at the same time — it means not just to love but to understand and accept each other, respect for feelings and opinions, to support, to have a common goal.

Как ссориться правильно

It is important to remember that spouses are not rivals, and authnicate:

In some cases, between truth and happiness is better to choose happiness? In those, when you really did not add anything. Remember how in the cartoon Matroskin Sharik said to buy the boots, and he bought shoes. "And I told him!" Similar phrases are themselves often become the reason for the fight, because their number one goal — to hurt pobolnee who already made a mistake and probably regrets. If every time, instead of support and help, you will be bitter and worse, you will get not only regular fights, but a bad relationship. If your partner instead of the enemy you will see ally, many conflicts will resolve themselves.

And another important point. Who needs to apologize after the argument? On this score there are different opinions: the one who started the quarrel, one who is smarter, etc. But if we remember that the couple — partners at the same time, we realize that you must apologize to both of you. Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, who's smarter. When both apologize, they first, restore their partnership, the balance in a pair, and secondly, to once again admit that they were wrong by participating in this quarrel. And perhaps these apologies and mutual repentance will keep them next time to quarrel.


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