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Alexander Litvin: "How to tame criticism of her husband and to build relationships in the pair"

Russian Explorer, the intuitive perception of the world, the analyst is the probability of events divided the secrets to a harmonious marriage

"The love," is sure to wish the newlyweds. But, unfortunately, this PEP talk is quickly forgotten. And start mutual accusations, insults, innuendo. I am often asked what is the reason? Have we become incompatible? Do not just give a "diagnosis". It's much easier. We usually see the flaws in other people, and their do not notice. Unfortunately, it is this "impossibility" to see their own shortcomings to spoil relations. We must clearly imagine that the person who is next to you — not stupid, not worse, not more naive than you. It is just different. And, moreover, usually we pick a couple of who has these abilities away from us. So, we have the second half can learn, though not aware of this report. And in order to learn, you need to ask questions. Are these questions simple enough. Just remember one key phrase: "I wanted(a) to consult with you/ I wanted(a) to obtain your instruction/ I like(a), to tell me(a)". Then your relationship will be built quite comfortably,' said Alexander Litvin.

Александр Литвин: «Как усмирить критику мужа и выстроить отношения в паре»

Alexander Litinfo: materials of press-services

"We need to be aware that, by combining these questions, you are actually trying to obtain from a person "knowledge" that you don't have, so you need to mentally put it "a step above yourself." As in the Institute: you are the applicant and your spouse is a Professor. We can say to the teacher: "Hey, Professor, I want to talk to you". Only the phrase "Can you consult?" forced the teacher generously to explain the misunderstood, and to build a thread of their knowledge without spaces. And you in turn will get what you have. The same scheme works in personal relationships men and women who, throughout his life, learning from each other.

Александр Литвин: «Как усмирить критику мужа и выстроить отношения в паре»

His second half we have a lot of nauchitsya:

Once I came to accept the woman and said: "My husband is incredibly critical. I just can't deal with his criticism. He doesn't like everything that I'm not fit, it is made poorly, the child got a bad haircut was my fault, and continue in the same vein. Forces no more. I stopped myself to appreciate and love, lose your self-esteem. Moreover, I began seriously to take his words. Believe that every word is true. And it makes me feel more hurt. To see more don't want it with his criticism.“

– You acknowledge that his criticisms are fair?

– Increasingly believe it.

– Well, then, we must learn to pre-empt such criticism. To be proactive: before husband begins to criticize the first "salad", to ask him a question concerning the "salad" fault. That is, if the husband says that the salad is tasteless, should turn to him and say: "what do you think, is it better to put the cucumbers or tomatoes?" Like a trifle, but it really will help to ensure that the spouse will cease to criticize. Because in the end he put in a cucumber or tomato. Here in this peaceful manner and should deal with criticism. You harmonious relationship!" — said Alexander Litvin.


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