Women consistently pay attention to the wrong partners. Why is this happening? And is it possible to fix the situation? The psychologist on family relations Olga Romaniv know the answer to this question
Not the men women choose not just. According to experts, blame our libido, which just likes the bad boys. Libido is actually a way to obtain pleasure. It is formed in early childhood, including under the influence of external factors such as relationships with parents. If you grew up in an atmosphere of neglect or authoritarianism, you hurt the word, as may be the case, not seen you in person, it is likely that in adulthood it is this attitude from a partner, you will unconsciously normal. How to fix the situation?
Olga Romanito: materials of press-services
Stop a toxic relationship. You hurt, you cheat, keep at a distance, don't want to build relationships, change, borrow money, offend, devalue your feelings, betray, give empty promises — it all falls under the term "toxic relationship". This relationship, when your partner are satisfied and you are experiencing regular discomfort: crying, suffering, worry, complaining girlfriends, exhaust yourselves with jealousy and suspicion. But the relationship with your loved one should not bring suffering, but joy and pleasure. If not, then it's time to change something, first in yourself, because you feel uncomfortable in this relationship.
Specify, what kind of relationship you want. You dream to create a family and have children, and the partner somehow pulls of course, this situation is unpleasant, uncomfortable. But you don't get away from him and sit waiting for a miracle. Start the conversation on the topic of a future together and communicated to the partner of your desires, if in response you get something obscure from the series "let's wait", "now is not the time", we can conclude that partner for a serious relationship with you are not ready yet. After this conversation you have two options: accept what you said partner, and stay with him waiting, when it Matures, or to leave because you are not ready to wait. In any case, you have to make a decision.
Specify what you don't like in your partner. He treated you badly (called, raised his voice, lied), you immediately give him the opposite reaction and say that you are at this moment felt. Do not call and send it back, and talk about yourself and ask him not to do it. If he listens to you, then chances that your relationship has changed for the better there.
Stop adapt. Don't need to change, to become better, to lose weight, to get fat, to flee to cooking or a boob job just because your partner likes the third dimension and Peking duck for dinner. Happiness and love you back you ain't achieve. Love cannot be earned — it's either there or it is not.
Don't be afraid to admit that it is not love. Don't be afraid to be yourself and to be one, if the man is not yours, if it makes you constantly claim that you do not meet some of its ideals. Once you understand for yourself what you really want and expect from a relationship and men, then your life will be the one who will love you for who you really are, not what you can pretend. So be yourself, respect yourself and your personal boundaries.