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Gaslighting: how to resist the psychological violence

There are numerous ways of manipulation in a pair or just between acquaintances. Sometimes they can lead to disastrous situations. That did not happen with you WomanHit.ru prepared a memo on the occasion of the meeting with a toxic person

The term "gaslighting" has appeared recently, but you or your friends are probably faced with this phenomenon, albeit not in the most advanced form. The essence of gaslighting, which is one of the manifestations of psychological abuse to convince the victim of his own inadequacy, distorting the real facts and events. Yes, not all situations apply this method, it is possible that your friend really can't remember how he lent you have to pay. Gaslighting as a way of manipulation often used by one of the partners in the family or just a couple, so hold them close.

"Born" gaslighting after the release of the film based on the play Gas Light (Gaslight). The film twists around the couple: the husband, trying to hide their criminal case, my wife forbids to communicate with other people, all the while keeping her in the house. He turns on the light in the attic, resulting in all the lights in the house dim. When a woman says his suspicions, the husband accuses her of lying, because of what the character gradually losing his mind.

Газлайтинг: как противостоять психологическому насилию

Gaslighting — a favorite method of manipulation of abuzerov in paretto: pixabay.com/ru

Gaslighting — a favorite method of manipulation of abuzerov in a pair, thus they control the unsuspecting person. The phrase "You're too weird", "what are You talking about?", "When it is there, just going crazy?" — constant companions of these pairs. In the end, the person feels guilt for their own feelings and, in extreme cases, he requires the help of experts-psychiatrists. This technique like to use a malicious apostate, who all the suspicions of the partner react extremely surprised, trying to point to his inadequacy.

Using the method of gaslighting, people trying to distort another person's reality, confusing the facts, or even denying the events that occurred in reality. Abuser or deny what is happening ("there was No such"), or gives a negative evaluation to opinion of the opponent ("Calm down and not react so"), or indicates the inadequacy of what is happening ("It is normal that you react like that?").

There are several situations that will give you to understand that you are dealing with abuterol who tries to control you:

1. These people know how to skillfully lie

And do it professionally. All this is done in order to cause you to doubt and then to "treat" you as they want.

2. They begin to deny the facts

Even if you heard with my own ears from the man, unable to remember the date and time when this happened, the other person will be hard to pretend that this situation was basically impossible and, if you insist, then you have something wrong. If this situation is repeated from time to time, you already begin to doubt its adequacy.

Газлайтинг: как противостоять психологическому насилию

The more people will begin to have doubts, the better you will feel gaslighter-abusehot: pixabay.com/ru

3. They know about your weaknesses

If you are proud of a degree, abuser sure to remind you more than once that I shouldn't have done, your efforts have been wasted. Still presented "on a platter" a list of your negative qualities that you may not have.

4. Abuser are gradually

They never finish in time. Their actions are thought out and planned — is a hallmark of gaslighting. It starts small, with observations, which then turn into serious charges.

5. Everything they say, at odds with their actions

Here a very important point: keep track of what is happening, not what you say. Their words are of no benefit or harm.

6. They change their tactics

If they had unobtrusive you were belittled, but now changed his temper justice with mercy, thus further rubbing to you in confidence. They begin to like you, you gradually forget past grievances. But here they have achieved the desired effect: you doubt that they are somehow not the way I treated you.

7. They find companions

Surprisingly, they very quickly establish contacts with people, which theoretically can support them. In the absence of abuser, their friends are their "replace", fully supporting the position of gaslighter. Failing to understand who is right and who is wrong, you will resort back to gislature, and this, in fact, was his goal.

Газлайтинг: как противостоять психологическому насилию

You are already starting to doubt his adekvatnosti: pixabay.com/ru

8. They will try to convince everyone around you that you are inadequate

The more people will begin to have doubts, the better you will feel gaslighter-abuser. And even if he ever starts to show aggression towards you, people will still believe him, not you, since the manipulator is "processed" by the audience.

Knowing these techniques, you will be able to recognize potential abuser and to end that relationship in the Bud.

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