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The difficult teen: how to act and where to go

How to learn to understand your child, told WomanHit family therapist Catherine Shabel'skoye

On reception to the psychologist, parents who are faced with a lack of understanding of their child, come with complaints that their children are difficult, confusing and difficult. No wonder the old adage says that the older the child, the more problems with them. Psychology and pedagogy defines adolescence broadly. This is the age range from 10 to 15 years. At this time, the child's body is changing rapidly, entry into adolescence is associated with serious physiological and psychological turbulence. A typical sign of puberty — contradictory. Your child the soul of the company, happy to make new friends, communicating with mass people, then it is closed, tersely responding to inquiries. On Monday, he is absolutely confident in his genius, going on to conquer Harvard, and by Thursday suffering from consciousness of own ordinary and inability to do something bright. Note a number of signs that will allow you to understand that your child has entered into adolescence:

- Egocentricity, due to the fact that their own problems for teenagers are a priority. He is not interested in what is happening around. But the new pimple on the chin or sideways glance of a classmate inflated to the scale of universal tragedy.

A teenager is making plans for a truly Napoleonic scale. This means that he already knows how to make your first million in this campaign for bread for him not significant.

Teenage nice to feel cool, he's doing upremacy and protesting. So, a teenager who train themselves in such qualities as independence.

- Romanticism, which is clouding the head is better than raging hormones.

Трудный подросток: как действовать и куда бежать

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In this difficult period of parents it is extremely important not to leave the moralizing or falling into the other extreme — reducing the child to a minimum. It is clear that constant quarrels and reproaches harassed not only children but also parents. But no need to "ease" their life, reducing communication to household things, at the level of "soup", "take out the trash", "how was school" and so on. Do not succumb to provocations, remember that the child at this age, despite the apparent dislike of adults, desperate for love and approval. The instability of the psyche, contradictory behavior is only a mask. Support and approval of senior required for even a small person. Remember that arrogance and cockiness is rather superficial, inside the teenager often feels self-doubt and fear.

Let us examine some typical cases and try to propose several universal methods that will allow you to better understand your child-teen.

The teenager begins to clash with their parents, questioning their credibility. This is because the teenager has become the authority of the peers, their approval in this period is in the forefront. Understanding a parent should know that their child is appreciated not doubtful the recommendation of friends from the street, and their own, to become an example for him. Try to share with him his doubts and plans for the future and with time he will become to trust you. The problem lies that often occurs in adolescence, can and should be solved. But it should be understood that it is a long process. Parents should think through their strategy. You may have a violent reaction to minor mistakes of a teenager. It lies protected from the barrage of emotions and morals. It is easier to give answers that are pleasing to mother and father. Be tolerant, even if you see the truth. Remember that teenagers love to dream. Rudeness in Teens must not be equated with bad manners. The reason for such rude behavior to be found in the attention deficit and the desire to show their maturity. The teenager needs to feel that he is treated as equals. It is important to convey to a grown man that rudeness is not a manifestation of adulthood. Adulthood is manifested in the responsibility for their actions. Survive the awkward age your child will be easier if you will remember that while not all of the problems our children are the best in the world. Just love and appreciate your child's personality.

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