Expert WomanHit.ru Maria Dyachkova — about what to do if the relationship with her husband turned into a compromise
To reveal the metaphor of sleep for this time, talk a little about the woman who sent it. At this stage, with her husband she's talking divorce. It was important, deep process of samopoznanie and research to finally admit to myself that my relationship with my husband is a compromise. Escape from myself, from passion, from the brightness of life. Their tacit agreement the last few years have been to together quietly and without disruption to create for ourselves the prospect of a quiet existence: to build the country, to organize joint leisure and comfortable life, to share with each other is quite calm and by all accounts a decent life together. Except for this agreement meant the rejection of personal truth: the risk of finding new truly satisfying and desirable projects in their careers, in travel, in communication. Now our navideca aware of the fact that the way to your real desires, this agreement does not suit her, even brakes. Their tacit contract was based on the rejection of their aspirations and the confidence, but now it is entrenched and ready to take yourself to a greater extent, including its storms of passion, the search pulses.
Often, for married couples this is a serious test of the Union. When paired someone takes on the function of development of personality, the latter usually takes the rigid position of saving already created, generates opposition to change, which allegedly ruining their marriage.
In General, the personal quest of one of the spouses often perceived others as a threat to past joint experiences. And these fears and threats the brighter, the more the couple hid from each other their true desires, intentions, hopes and aspirations. From there, imagination, personal growth someone will destroy everything, as most likely more Mature spouse will start to speak to another something that they both long and stubbornly refused to look. By the way, it is not always the threat of break-up and rupture. Leaving someone is a powerful and often untranslatable experience. Under pain of parting, many still retain their relationship based on compromise, continuing to walk past those issues and areas that upset the delicate balance.
However, awareness of and love for his quest for personal happiness and meaning is a challenge, it is a lesson which each of the spouses may cease to hold the other and begin to hold yourself, take care of yourself and to meet primarily their own needs in development, cognition and research. Then the other partner becomes the enemy of the entire process, a dedicated audience and a partner. Or does not become, but it's his choice.
Of the dream of our snovideni:
"Somebody's train (the other) went off the rails. Can not continue to go, as the ground beneath him crumbles (I remember seeing under the rails something like a Foundation of bricks or blocks, and they cracked, sagged and collapsed) and collapses. I look from the side and simply stating that the train can go no further, stuck indefinitely. While my train is somewhere near worth it, and he rails all OK
Previously, I often dreamt that I am late for the train, running, in a hurry, some stuff, forget it... On the plane also happen, but train more often. Now I haven't ran".
Sleep transparent. No guilt, only a statement of fact that her train is on the tracks, while his train still stuck. And she doesn't have to save it and restore, it's not her responsibility. Its purpose is to catch and sit in your train and go on their way, no one else for it will not do.
If people are married, in relationships or even alone knew how to hold himself, to follow his vision and its goals, how much to reduce the number of empty dramas and suffering. However, this is the way that everyone does at their own pace. Good luck to our knowidea.
Maria Dyachkova, a psychologist, family therapist and host of the personal growth training Training center Marik Khazindivorce, expert, dream interpretation